~ OH MY GOD!!! ~


I'm getting fatter and fatter everyday!!! OMG!!! What should I do now??? How to get back my previous figure??? ish... I guess, I really must stop taking so much carbs now... OMG!!! aih... Anyone with a good suggestion on toning down fat arms?? Mummy... I don't want to get fat!! :(

Last night mummy just told me that I'm getting fatter and I actually don't believe her... Ish... And this morning while folding clothes in mummy's room, I noticed from my reflection on the mirror that indeed... I'M GETTING FATTER!!! Gosh!! What to do now??? I guess I really have to stop taking rice and take bread everyday for breakfast and dinner at KL now... Although bread has carbs too... Well, I should take salad from now on... Gosh!! Any recipe on making nice delicious yet not fattening salad???

I don't want to get fat... :( I seriously need to go to the pool everyday now... Although no friends go swimming with me, I still have to go and swim myself... GOSH!! And maybe start dropping by the gym soon... @.@ Maybe I should start learning Yoga too... =.= Waaaa.... Need to lose those fats!! Especially those on my arms and thighs... Waaa....

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO GO ON DIET!!!

i am who i am
12:53 PM

~ Bored ~


I'm freaking bored... No Heroes to watch... sien.... sigh... Need to wait till I finish downloading my Heroes Season 2 Episode 3 only can continue watching heroes... bored... And now... nobody to chat with... except Cindy... my dear friend + ex-roommate + coursemate + hsemate... lolx! Thanks a lot, girl! Appreciate it...

Cs has been too busy lately to chat with me... or to accompany me... and it seems there's nothing much to talk about between us any longer... sigh... What to do?? What else can I do??? sien... And now, he's saying I never want to hear his stuffs... Does he ever share his stuffs with me?? I wonder... Well, maybe sometimes I don't want to hear bout some of his stuffs which I'm totally not interested in... But there are times when I wanted to know bout his stuffs yet he doesn't want to say... So, what can I say now???

*sigh*

Oh well... forget all those... useless... meaningless... I should stop fretting bout all this and get myself some sleep... sien...

I'm damn bored here!!!

i am who i am
1:42 AM

~ Dilemma ~


I feel pathetic... I'm such a loser... I guess my ending is coming soon... real soon... What should I do now?? To tell or not to tell?? When I'm at my highest point of telling, I was being splashed with cold water... What exactly should I do now??? I've said before, when the time comes, when I finally mustered up my courage, I will do what I've promised you... And now, recently, I think I've found my courage... But yet... in just a matter of seconds, a few words from you, my courage is totally gone... Just like that... I'm not sure what should I do now... I don't know which route should I take now... And I'm seriously not sure if this can last long even after I tell... Can someone just give me a direction?? A sign???

*sigh*

i am who i am
1:55 AM

~ When You're Gone ~


It's so funny when things around you seems to repeat itself all over again... It's just so happened that I visited JY's blog before I decided to blog and I noticed that he had updated his blog with Avril's song - When You're Gone... And it's just so happened that last year during this time I've been listening this song over and over again since end of July... And now, here I am... Listening to it again and yes, I still love this song... The lyrics, the music... Everything just make so much sense right now... And it's just so happened for me to notice that Cs has changed his personal message on MSN to the title of this song... Is it just coincidence?? Or fate brought us to write the same title, listen to the same song, and writing this very title for personal message???

I'm starting to feel emo again... Like what happened to me last year during this time... Why am I like this?? Listening to this very song makes me emo... Maybe this song fits exactly to my situation right now, I supposed...

Last year, during this month, I had been extremely emo... And had been trying hard to adjust myself and I must say, it took me quite some time to get used to it... Losing (well, not exactly losing although it seems to be so) someone I love deeply as he decided to go to somewhere far (not really that far, though) to further his studies... Having to let someone whom you are attached with for nearly 15 months go to somewhere far from you is just unbearable... It's hard to let go... But somehow, we've to learn how to let go... Not to be so dependent on that person anymore... Not to be so attached to the person...

Here I am... Ranting about the past when I should be looking forward and forget the past... Look at the time!!! Why am I still hanging around here?? I should have been in bed an hour ago... It's almost 3am now... Gosh... There's something I intended to blog about in the first place... But somehow, my main point was changed due to the song I heard before blogging... aih...

*sigh*

Why do I have to ask other people about your stuffs?? Why can't I get the answer directly from you?? I know they are your best friends, they know everything about you... maybe more than I do... But why do you have to treat me this way?? I'm just asking a simple question... Normal question... Nothing complicated, no explanation needed but still... I was asked to ask another person for the answer... Imagine, how would you feel if I ask you to ask my friend what you want to know about me... Let's see how you will feel by then...

When you're gone....

i am who i am
2:48 AM

~ Truth Known ~


There are just some people whom you think is ur good friend, actually treat you differently from how you treat them... From the outer look, they are good with you... However, you never know, they might just backstab you one of these days... And this happened to me jz a few minutes ago...

*sigh*

So, what can I do?? Act as if I don't know I've been backstabbed lo... After all, I accidentally found out bout it...

Why some people whom just love backstabbing other people but at the same time treating the person they are backstabbing nicely in front of her??

*sweats*

Anyway, forget it... To me, backstabbing is only for people whom I never treat them nicely... whom I never treat as my good friend... Just some normal people whom I sort of between dislike and hate... hah...

I'm evil... I know... I don't need you to tell me that...

i am who i am
3:20 PM

~ Holidayz!!! ~


Yeah!! It's finally holidays for me!!! One week only though... -.-" Pathetic sem-break...

*sigh*

It's better than nothing though... ha... Anyway, yesterday's paper kinda sucks... -.-" I actually wrote the wrong ans for 1st question of the structure part!! Aarggghhh!! Got mixed up with those principles!! -.-" ish...ish... 10 marks gone just like that!! Haiz!! I could have gotten 10 marks for that question as I know the answer perfectly well... It's just that I don't remember that it's the answer for that question... Really got mixed up with other topics principles... haiz...

*sigh*

Otherwise, I don't have to worry whether I'll pass or fail now... Hanging in the middle... Hate this feeling... Sigh... Tot I could have scored for this subject as my internal marks for this subject is ok.. haiz.... No more A for me...

*sigh*

Anyway... went to Low Yat Plaza, Sg Wang Plaza and finally Pavilion yesterday right after lunch... ha! Tot of going to sing K... But how unlucky... No more rooms... -.-" And Kian Soon them doesn't wanna go to Red Box Plus at Pavilion... :( But nvm... Still, I get to eat my Sakae Sushi!! hehe!! yummy!! Must spend on something I like to make my mood better!! lolx!! -.-"

Walked around Bukit Bintang the whole afternoon and night although having a bad headache!! lolx!! And finally back home at around 11pm... Haha!! Nothing can stop me if there's fun going on around!! lolx!

Right... lunch time... shall post more stuffs soon!! C'ya peeps!

i am who i am
12:42 PM

~ Last One ~


Yeah!! Left one more paper and it's holiday for me!!! Wahahaha... Just 1 week of holidays only, though.. -.-"

*sweats*

It's better than nothing, right?? Hmmm... Wonder what should I do for the hols... -.-"

Sadly... I think I did pretty badly for Microbiology paper on Thursday... It was seriously damn tough... especially for the structure part... The questions were never from books or notes... Sigh... I wonder if I can pass this paper...

*sigh*

Anyway, forgot to tell this story... which happened yesterday morning... My hsemate, Hayden and I were on our way to take a cab to the LRT station at around 9.15am... And on our way to take our cab which is in front of the Mc Donald's, we saw a green Proton Iswara beside Mc Donald's... And I noticed the driver whom is a male aging around 30++ was staring at the two of us... But, of course, I ignore that driverand continued talking with Hayden and walked to the taxi stand... And guess what??? According to Hayden, she noticed that the man was masturbating in front of us when we passed-by his car!! SHIT!!! I din saw that though... wat a pity... haha! My friend saw it from the corner of her eyes... -.-" Luckily I din saw it as, according to Hayden, it was disgusting... And the animal even put out his head when we passed-by his car and let out a moan of high... AARRGGHHH!!! GROSS!!! The sound is totally eewwww!!! Still ringing in my ears until I got onto my bus back Muar... F*ck!!! Scared the daylight out of my friend... Pity... Why would a person do such thing in broad daylight??? Damn!!!

This was the first time I encountered this kind of incident in KL... Shit!!! Must be extremely wary from now on... Hayden told me she's gonna get herself a pepper spray soon... As this wasn't the first time for her to meet this kind of thing in KL... -.-" Lucky me, I guess?? ha...

Ah well... Back to study... Hope I can score in this last paper... Food Quality Management... Don't know what the whole subject is talking about... Don't know how to study for this subject... -.-" But the weird thing is, although I seriously don't know how to study for this subject since the beginning of the sem, I still managed to get average result in the quiz and mid-term... -.-" Maybe it's just pure luck...

*sigh*

Still...I hope I can do better in the final... Ganbatte!!!

i am who i am
6:32 PM

~ Give Up ~


Not going to bother bout this anymore... I hope I can do it... But somehow, I just can't... Why??? What should I do now?? Play dumb?? Do what you did?? An eye for an eye??? Or just totally forget about it???

*sigh*

Why is it always like this??? I HATE IT!!!

i am who i am
11:31 PM

~ FINALS!!! ~


It's 5th August 2008 and my finals are coming real soon!!! Arrgghh... And I'm not even ready for it yet... Sigh... Been busy with reports and assignments lately that I have no time to start studying until today... -.-" My 1st paper will be on this coming Friday and yet I haven't start studying for that subject which happens to be Moral Studies which teaches you how to be an immoral person... -.-" haha!! lolx! Anyway... my last paper is going to be on the 19th August 2008... And then, one week ++ of holidays for me as my sem break... -.-" Pathetic holidays... sigh... I WANT MORE HOLIDAYS!!!

*sobs*

Back to studies... @.@ I guess I won't be updating my blog any soon until my finals end... -.-"

Hmm... my blog is still as cacat as before... -.-"

i am who i am
7:40 PM

~ L. I. P. ~


Hey!!! Don't get the wrong message!!! L.I.P. stands for leave in peace... Now..now... don't get me wrong... Nope... leave in peace doens't has got anything to do with R.I.P. (rest in peace)... haha... L.I.P has nothing to do with death... Just leave in peace.. For example, leaving a game in peace, leaving the house in peace, etc... lolx! You can say it as I'm dedicating this post to someone special... haha... Which is in fact true that I am really dedicating this post to someone after what happened earlier...

Recently, I found out that I'm a hopeless, useless and limited person... sigh... Hopeless and useless as nobody wants me to care for them... Wait... it's wrong... Actually, is because people wants me to care for them but whenever I care for them, they don't seem to accept my caring...

*sigh*

I wonder where the problem lies at?? Me?? Or those who want me to care them but don't want to accept the way I care for them??? Am I really a failure??? Nothing seems to be right whenever I try to care for other people... Instead, everything seems to be all right when I do not care for other people... Why is this so??? -.-"

*sweats*

Normally, everything is right when one cares for another... But in my case, everything is wrong when I care for others... Don't you guys think this is very ironical??? Well, maybe to me only... lol... haha.. Anyway... I'm stucked... To continue or to end it... I need advice... Give me some when u peeps are free... =) thanks!

i am who i am
1:13 PM