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~CiPei~
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* Thursday, April 30, 2009 *
~ Under-controlled ~


Why is it everytime like this?? Why is my decision never being respected?? Why you never approve my decision?? Why do I have to listen to you everytime?? Why do I have to do what you say?? Why am I not been given the freedom to do anything I want?? Why do you all everytime have to disapprove my actions?? Why can't you all just let me be and let me get hurt?? Why do oyou all have to be so over-protective of me?? Why do you all don't want allow me to grow up?? Why on earth am I so stupid to tell them what I did?? Why on earth am I so honest??? FUCK!!!

*sigh*

When on earth will I ever get to do everything myself?? When on earth will I ever get to decide how I want my life to be??

*sigh*

I really regret it... Telling you all what I did... Though it is not everything... but just some... I swear I will never tell you anything anymore if this is what you all going to do... Why can't you all for once approve and support my decision?? Do you think we are still living in your era?? Do you think I am able to get anyone or anything I want in the future??? Why can't you just approve my decision??? Do you think the people nowadays are just like the people during your time?? Do you think everybody is trustable?? How to trust someone whom you just get to know for a few months in this era??? It takes time to trust someone this time... There are so many cheaters out there... But why... WHY do you still think it'll be better and easier to get a boyfriend when I start to work in the coming years?? Is there any difference??

I'm 20 going 21 this year... If I am to work next year, I'll be 22... Am I not at the right age to get a boyfriend?? Am I still not allowed to make my own decision??? Then, why on earth do you allow my bro to have gf?? Why you never asked him to concentrate in his studies 1st instead of having a gf when he fails in his exams?? WHy are you all being so unfair??

You mentioned he is good... You even had dinner with him before... Yet why do you still not allow me to have a bf?? Why do you keep saying I am too young to have a bf?? WHY??? Why can't you just trust my judgement for once?? Why can't you just give me a chance?? Why can't you just fixed your mind and stick to your previous decision?? Stop being so fickle-minded, can you??

*sigh*

I hate my life...

Sorry, dear... I love you...


i am who i am
9:04 PM